this is where i’m supposed to talk about my new years resolutions, where i talk about quitting smoking or losing weight. these are things that i’m doing. but that’s not what i’m going to talk about.
i want to talk about this girl.
see, there’s this girl that i love. i’ve loved her almost as long as i’ve known her, though i haven’t always known it. i loved her two years ago, i love her today, and i’ll love her a hundred years from today.
this past spring she finally came back to me. and i was the happiest i’ve been in my whole life.
then i threw that all away. because i’m arrogant. because i’m selfish. because i’m kind of a dick a lot of the time. because i care more about being funny than being kind. because i didn’t love her the way she loved me, wholly. people have tried to tell me all of this in the past, but i was able to write them off because in the grand scheme of things, i always think i’m right and everyone else is wrong.
i’m wrong, and everyone else is right.
and when it comes down to it, i’m not just talking about this girl, though she’s the one who finally got me to see who i am versus who i think i am, and who i can be. i’m talking about anyone who knows me and reads this silly thing. because odds are, i’ve made you feel terrible for no other reason than to make myself feel good.
that’s no way to live your life. and i’m sorry.
so this is more than a new years resolution, more than some lofty goal we dream up and then forget about by the time the snow melts. this is a shift. this a declaration. this is a call to arms.
i will be kind.
i will be a better person, a better friend, a better brother.
and you – i will love you with everything i have, with reckless abandon.
to be honest, i don’t really care. i’m a smoker and it’s nice that i can (could, starting may 1) smoke in bars and coffeshops. but really, this was inevitable.
so i have to go outside to smoke now. big deal. maybe i’ll smoke less. maybe i’ll quit. that’s a plus, right? and from a business perspective, it makes a lot of sense.
take the meanwhile, for example. i have heard tons of people say they like that place, but it’s just too smokey. this is non-smokers and smokers alike. if you ban smoking, all of the people who don’t like smoke (but like drinking and a sweet jukebox) will probably start showing up. and the smokers? they’ll be pissy for a couple of weeks then they’ll come back. i mean, they gotta drink somewhere. did every bar in chicago close when they banned smoking there? no, they just adjusted. so did everyone else.
in a year or two, you’ll barely notice the difference. in the meantime, smoke ‘em if ya got ‘em.
i get a lot of flak for working in advertising. i get told, on a somewhat regular basis, that all advertising is manipulative crap, only designed to sell shit people don’t need. the thing is, that’s absolutely true. the other thing is, it’s also absolutely true of all forms of communication.
every play, every painting, every song, every movie, every distinct form of communication is designed to do one thing: manipulate you. they’re designed to “sell” something. that’s not a bad thing. all we’re trying to do is get people to see things from our perspective. the core of all communication is essentially the same: i want you to understand ___________.
a teacher instructing an history class: i want you to understand the cause and effect of events and how to use that information to make better decisions in the future.
telling a joke: i want you to understand that this is funny, this is a common thread we share, our laughter in this, and i want you to like me for it.
a painting: i want you to understand how i see the world.
a movie: i want you to understand these characters and how they reflect a little bit of all of us.
a advertisement: i want you to understand that coca cola tastes good.
every form of expression is about trying to convince people to understand. if that weren’t the case, we would have never evolved language beyond simple grunts and noises to signify danger. there’s no other point. think about any conversation you’ve ever had. what was the goal? to share your viewpoint, and try to understand someone else’s. if anything, advertising is more honest because it comes right out and says “i’m trying to convince you to do something.”
everyone, always, has ulterior motives. it’s how we survive. it would be naive to proclaim that anything you create isn’t at some level inherently selfish. again, that’s not a bad thing. why else would we demand credit for the things we do? why else would we put our names on our art? even if we didn’t, we’re still trying to manipulate someone into seeing our viewpoint, whether they know it, or we know it, or not.
roger ebert famously said, “the value of a movie is not what it’s about. it’s how it’s about what it’s about.” i think that applies to all forms communication. the value of a piece of art is not the subject matter, but how the subject matter is depicted. advertising is no different. the value of an ad is not in its motive, but its execution.
back in march, i wrote a post entitled “you are all assholes (re: the new facebook layout).” for the life of me, i can’t remember what it was that changed about facebook that pissed everyone off. you know why? ’cause it doesn’t fucking matter.
every time facebook changes something, every god-damned time, people fucking lose their shit. dollars to god-damned doughnuts says the people who are complaining now are the same people who complained seven months ago. so, let me get this straight: you liked the old layout so much that you’re pissed that they changed it? i thought you hated the old layout? when they change it again months for now, will you be pissed again? does this not imply that you will eventually like the new layout and maybe you should calm the fuck down? no? then you’re retarded.
so read the old post and just change the date. and seriously, those of you creating groups like “bring back the old facebook” or “change it back or i’m leaving,” can take a dick. no one cares, least of all anyone who works for facebook. now if you’ll excuse me, facebook suggests i reconnect with my girlfriend’s cat. apparently we had a falling out sometime since i last saw him this morning.
do you post on mlive? i’m working on a new documentary about the site and the people who click “comment” on the news stories. post here or email me at srdailey@gmail.com and let me know if you’re interested. thanks!
here’s an official email response from micheal stevens (president of founders brewing company) regarding their decision to force the organizers of local threads to drop planned parenthood as their charity:
Founders is merely supplying the venue for the Local Threads Fashion Show, a show that showcases local artists and their works. Supporting our local community of artists is something Founders has done for years and will continue to do in the future. We did not choose the charity to support for this event, the artist group did. Once we found out about which charity was chosen, I had to step in. At Founders, we have a strict policy in regards to supporting any charity and or political affiliation. Our policy is to remain neutral and not put ourselves into any moral bias situation at all. It simply isn’t worth it for us. This is why we had to step in and choose to support the very worthy cause, Kids Food Basket. In fact, as a result of this unforeseen incident we will no longer be allowing any outside charity events to take place at our facility without our 100% voice in where the proceeds are going. Our goal is simple, make the best beer we can and focus on that and that only.
once again, my friend juliet has written an eloquent and insightful piece regarding a local issue here in grand rapids. i fully agree with her statement and repost it below in it’s entirety. give founders a call at 616-776-1195 to let them know how you feel about this bullshit.
-srd
— Local Threads Charity Being Changed from Planed Parenthood is an Example of GR Catering, AGAIN, To Religious Extremists
By Juliet Bennett Rylah
I have recently been informed that the annual Local Threads Fashion Show, occurring at Founders Brewing Company on September 20, has changed their charity from Planned Parenthood (the charity that has appeared on all their press releases and flyers) to Kids’ Food Basket. While Kids’ Food Basket is an amazing charity that my own events have donated money to, the reason for this change is, once again, an example of an organization being forced to cater to the religious morals of others.
I am told that when Founders received complaints about the fashion show using the money raised to support the local chapter of Planned Parenthood, Local Threads was required to change their charity.
But why? Why should a company that is locally owned and supported by many cater to the demands of a few people who have managed to acquire telephones or emails to express their discomfort? Why is Founders pandering to these people? I am a loyal customer, with a face and a name, who has a long history of drinking there, eating there and bringing my band in to play there. I have always supported Founders as a local establishment. Did Founders not consider that there are many progressive individuals that drink at their bar that would be offended by this act of bowing down?
Organizations and businesses need to STOP catering to moralists. These ridiculous shackles are what prevents our city from becoming a progressive city where people can feel free to express themselves. Planned Parenthood of Grand Rapids is an important organization that provides medical services and family planning to women. How many of us ladies have received medical support at Planned Parenthood that we could have not received anywhere else, due to our finances, age or other criteria? Planned Parenthood provides a host of vital services and it is NOT an abortion clinic, though they will refer you to many options where you are free to make your own personal choices about your body and your family.
These moralists clearly do not understand its vital role in the community, and I’ll be willing to wager that they’re not faithful beer drinkers either, but they chose to step upon an event and make demands so that their morals would be satisfied. And the worst part about it is that they were catered to.
Religious moralists have often tried to prevent things from happening in this city that don’t agree with them. They have tried to shut down many things — from the productions of Quills and Corpus Christi to the Super Happy Funtime Burlesque Show. If anyone I know doesn’t particularly care for religious, they simply don’t go to church. They don’t try to shut the churches down. So why can’t these religious folk stay out of our venues when something they disagree with is going on? Why do they feel the need to try to infringe upon our freedoms? In fact, I read some time ago that Foundesr Fest was being attacked by certain moralists who felt that if children were to see customers drinking outside, they might associate drinking with fun, therefore Founders shouldn’t be permitted to have an outdoor festival. I think anyone who has attended this festival knows that it’s a wild success, both as far as a festival goes and economically. This is another reason why it surprises me that Founders would cater to the same type of people who attempted to squash their efforts of entrepreneurship previously.
I think we, and by we, I mean you if you agree that this is ridiculous need to take a stand and not back down.
I am in no way suggesting a boycott of Local Threads or Founders. These are both great things and so is Kids’ Food Basket. But I am suggesting that we band together and express our disappointment and let Founders know, especially those of us that are loyal patrons like myself, that we also have a voice and want to be considered and that our customer base is strong enough to support any organization these religious extremists threaten to take their money away from. We need to let people know that they don’t need to cater to the religious right to be successful anymore. We have telephones and emails and social networking tools too, just like those people did. Let’s use them to show that WE also exist.
Additionally, the Charity Tribute Series at The Whiskey Lounge following the Springsteen show coming up this Friday will donate the proceeds to the local chapter of Planned Parenthood and WILL NOT back down.
patrick swayze finally caught the ultimate wave yesterday. and in the words of special agent johnny utah, “he’s not coming back.”
it’s no secret that i’m a hugeswayze fan. i even hosted “a very swayze christmas” last year at my house, a mini-swayze marathon on christmas night. what’s funny about swayze is (was?) the fact that he was both a heart-throb and a badass. reading my facebook newsfeed, the gender divide is pretty evident. the ladies will miss sam wheat and johnny castle, the men bodhi and dalton. and i think everyone can appreciate the awesomeness of his classic chippendales sketch with chris farley. he was all things to all people, and by all accounts a nice guy. he will be missed.
quick summary: some dude named “t. mikey” was offering one of his paintings as an incentive to get people to vote for his artprize entry, which looks like something you’d see on the wall of a bad chinese restaurant.
here’s a picture of t.mikey elegantly showcasing the “t.mikey prize.”
and here’s a excerpt from the follow-up article reporting that his prize violates the rules of the competition:
T. Mikey said he got a few notes congratulating him on his cleverness, including a post on MLive from srdailey, who wrote:
“Is T. Mikey a pirate from the future?”
“That was my favorite,” T. Mikey said with a laugh. “I’m taking that one with me.”
collin and i have been watching lost from the beginning. as you might know, i’ve never had any interest in the show. but we made a deal: i’ll watch lost with her if she’ll watch battlestar with me. best relationship ever. annnnnnnnyway, so while its far from the orgasmic heights everyone’s been telling me it is, it’s a pretty decent show. my only problem is abc’s stupid website.
ok, so abc gets props for putting the entire season online. but they lose a million points for their idiotic streaming system. everyone has ads, that’s how these systems work. if you’re smart, like hulu, then you break in for an ad (15-30 secs) and then return to the show. if you’re retarded, like abc, then you break into an ad THEN make the user click “play” again to resume the show. this seems like a minor annoyance, but believe me, by the time you’re on episode three of a lost marathon, you’re pretty pissed at the asinine way abc has squeezed a few extra seconds of ad exposure.
so i was delighted to read this piece on slashfilm today reporting that abc has added lost (and couple of other shows) to netflix watch instantly. well done. now get on hulu like the rest of the world and join the 21st century. asshats.
it feels like now that the summer blockbusters have died down (star trek was awesome, didn’t see transformers for obvious reasons) it’s finally time for some really cool, innovative movies. here’s what i’m excited about for the second half of the summer (grand rapids release dates noted).
- july 31st -
funny people – you’ve no doubt seen the trailers for this. it’s judd apatow, who has yet to disappoint, at least from the director’s chair. check out the “raaaaaaaandy” documentaries over on funny or die. you can also check out clips from jason schwartzman’s character’s fake show “yo teach!” pretty decent viral campaign.
the hurt locker – called the first entertaining iraq war movie, the hurt locker is about the bomb-squad team. it’s also directed by kathryn bigelow, of point break fame.
- august 7th -
500 days of summer – i’ve talked about this before. cool director, cool cast, cool idea. joseph gordon-levitt is one of the best young actors working today. plus there’s apparently a dance number to “you make my dreams” by hall & oates. win.
- august 14th -
district 9 – this is easily my most anticipated movie of the summer. i think it’s the fact that original science fiction is so rare that when it looks to be really good i get really excited. i think of everything i’ve listed, this is the only one i have to see day one. aric, you in?
- august 21st -
inglorious basterds – this one i’m cautiously optimistic about. deathproof was a mess, especially next to the far superior planet terror. but i’m willing to give tarentino a second chance, based on the cast and his previous work. besides, who doesn’t like killing nazi’s?
- september 4th -
gamer – and let’s finish off the summer with some stupid fun. i just really like neveldine and taylor’s balls-to-wall style and it’ll be interesting to see them take on something a little lest ridiculous. or maybe it’ll be the running man mixed with crank. either way, sign me up.
i nominate ali for best comment on my twilight rant, pasted below:
aggressive.
disclosure: i haven’t seen twilight, mostly b/c it has been so panned by feminists that i decided i won’t support the franchise. maybe i’ll watch a bootlegged copy or something. this is all based on what i’ve heard and read. you can stop reading this comment right now if you wish.
in defense of those who like twilight, i can see the appeal. sounds like a pretty good epic love story — classic romeo and juliet, except instead of class and family feuds, the guy wants to eat the girl. on the surface, it’s a lot like the love story in buffy, which is probably the reason i liked buffy so much.
but then twilight goes off the rails with its obvious stupid opinions on sex, virginity, and sluttiness. and it also seems to condone abusive relationships. in fact, bella is pretty much useless. i don’t expect every female character out there to be gloria steinem in a hoodie, but there are degrees of anti-feminism i can take, and twilight seems to offend so many sensibilities at once, rendering it unwatchable. i’m not that distressed that twilight exists, but i do find it worrisome that so many people (women) don’t seem to care particularly about the abusive undertones. more of an indictment about how society doesn’t seem to take abuse very seriously, but perhaps i’m making generalizations.
ps: i don’t think i’d want my child to be like starbuck. what a mess.
there was a bit of an internet kerfuffle the other day regarding twilight and comic-con that got me thinking about that wretched film. yes, i have seen it. and yes, it’s frickin’ terrible. i won’t go into the issues of feminism and glorifying abusive relationships, or the creepy mormon undertones, or the fact that technically speaking, edward cullen is a pedophile. others have done a lot better job at that than me.
it’s just poorly made. the dialogue is unrealistic and terribly delivered, the directing is first-year film school at best, the cinematography is some of the most annoying i’ve ever scene (“hmm, how about we make every shot a push-in for no reason whatsoever?”), and the special effects are of smallville quality, which is to say, “not good.”
so i went on a quest, polling my female friends, some of whom like twilight and some of whom don’t, to see what the hell the big deal is. here’s a smattering of the responses:
“You’ve clearly never read Tiger Beat or drawn the floorplan of your dream house with Eric Nies. Girls just wanna have fun, Sean.”
“so they aren’t technically good, sometimes a person doesnt want to think so much.some of us with brains enjoy corny once in awhile.”
“for girls, we pick apart the points in the movie that we like, wish our lives were like that, then ignore everything else that doesn’t apply.”
so i guess i have to be a girl to “get” twilight? i call bullshit. there’s something else at play here that i can’t quite crack, but i weep for the generations of young boys that have to deal with all the girls that grew up on this tripe and now expect every boyfriend to be edward cullen because their sexually-frustrated mothers were too busy getting caught up in it as well to stop and think that maybe theses things aren’t setting the best examples for their daughters.
me, i hope i have a daughter so i can feed her a healthy stream of ripley, buffy, starbuck, janeway, and other strong female sci-fi characters and keep her away at all costs from “i’m completely helpless and alone without my boyfriend, the abuse prick that only likes me cause i smell really good and i’m a virgin” bella.
michael jackson is dead. that’s really weird to say. i think most people have really mixed feelings about this. on the one hand, he’s fucking michael jackson, the king of pop. there’s no discounting his immense talent. on the other, he probably touched little kids. but as i’ve said before, just like chinatown is still a great movie, thriller is still an amazing album.
i loved michael jackson when i was a kid. we had a copy of moonwalker on vhs that i used to watch over and over. the plot, in case you haven’t seen it, is like this: michael jackson is on a mission to save a bunch of kids from evil druglord mr. big, played by joe pesci. he can also turn into a car that can turn into a giant robot version of him. need i say more?
i’ll also mention the time that my best friend joe and i made a “mix” that consisted solely of 22 tracks of “will you be there (theme from free willy)” and listened to each one, partly because it was a funny concept, but mostly cause that’s a damn good song. we were, for the record, freshmen in college at the time. years later, joe did a stirring karaoke rendition at the playstation pub here in grand rapids that yielded a standing ovation.
so yeah, the king of pop is dead. collin nominated justin timberlake to succeed the throne. i second.
twitter hashtags are kinda fun, especially when you see all the people who just don’t get the concept. for example, today’s big meme seems to be #nicerfilmtitles, which is when you take some popular film titles and make them nicer. for example, my choice was “star debates: rebuttal of the sith.” pretty self explanatory, right? apparently not. here’s a few choice ones:
@Brownie_86 #nicerfilmtitles Blown in 60 seconds -not sure that’s nicer…
@BiBaby75 #nicerfilmtitles Cant take credit for this just saw it on Family Guy…Assablanca. -neither original, nor nicer.
@Rubyclaygirl Crank: High Voltage Fuckfest #nicerfilmtitles -again, way off here.
@ZexyNurse #nicerfilmtitles Star Trek: The Wrath of Spock’s Voyage to the Final Undiscovered Generations that made First Contact with Nemesis… -you forgot insurrection, n00b.
@justomar #nicerfilmtitles “Bitches Aint Shit: The Musical” -is that even a movie?
i don’t often (or at all, come to think of it) talk about work on this thing, but here’s a cool chance to do something that could save a life. running until the june 22nd, the national marrow donor program is offering free tissue-type testing to join their be the match registry. click here to sign up and enter “btm2009” (case sensitive) under “promo code” when prompted and they’ll send you a swab kit for free. swab the inside of your check, mail it back postage-paid, and you’ll be added to the registry. it’s free and easy. most of all, you could save someone’s life if you prove to be a match for someone with cancer.
ok, so now this is starting to get weird. those of you who know me personally know that one of the stupid things i do is the gay al gore voice. this is something that developed back in my jimmy johns days, a weird way of saying “sprouts” that somehow turned into something that sounded a lot like a gay version of the former vice president of the united states.
so imagine my surprise when i heard this week’s episode of “wait wait…don’t tell me!” featuring ed helms in the “not my job” segment doing his version of the gay al gore voice!
that is of course a complete exaggeration. andy samberg is hilarious. that said, this video from the mtv video awards last night is essentially an idea i came up with a few months ago after watching the wolverine workprint and lamenting the cliche’ of action heroes walking away from explosions.
just this past friday, i was discussing the concept of a fake trailer called “guy who doesn’t realize that crazy shit is happening behind him” with some friends as we were sketching out our wrath of khan parody video. ours even had a scene where the action hero is getting his hearing checked while terrorists are attacking directly behind him. ours did not have a song.
