my ironic mustache

Entries tagged as ‘never getting laid’

“they are not the hell your whales.”

May 10, 2010 · Leave a Comment

so i know you’ve been asking yourself, “how does my ironic mustache rank the star trek movies?”  you definitely haven’t been asking that, but i was super tired on saturday (read: hungover), so i watched a bunch of them again.  they’re mostly awesome, but here’s my official ranking.

1. star trek 2: the wrath of kahn – this is a no-brainer.  it’s undeniably the best of the series and can even be enjoyed by the non-trekkie.  plus, if’s heavily referenced in seinfeld, so that’s always a plus.

2. star trek (2009) – controversial!  plenty of trekkies hate on this one.  those people are idiots.  j.j. abrams took a dead franchise and showed everyone how cool star trek could be with the right hand.

3. star trek 6: the undiscovered country – i’ll always have a soft spot for this one as it’s the first i saw in the theaters with my mom.  it’s a great send-off for the original cast and nice little thriller to boot.

4. star trek: first contact – i grew up on tng so it’s was nice to finally see that crew get a proper movie.  it’s essentially a zombies in space tale.  add time travel and you’re in good shape.

5. star trek 4: the voyage home - speaking of time travel, this one never ceases to make my laugh.  sure it’s silly, but it’s a so much fun.  also, spock mind-melds with a whale.  so there’s that.

6. star trek 3: the search for spock – it’s kind of a big reset button, but it had to happen.  it gets you there with minimal muss and sets up 4 and 6 pretty well.   i could do without christopher lloyd though.

7. star trek: insurrection – this is where the suck starts.  it would’ve made a good two-part episode, but as a movie it’s pretty flat.  still, there’s a enough in there for it to not be a total waste.

8. star trek: generations – yikes.  it’s kind of a downer all around, kind of embarrassing for shatner, koening, and doohan, and kind of a tonal mess.  plus, data + emotion chip = guhhhhhh.

9. star trek: nemesis - i’ve actually seen this one the least amount of times, but i can see the massive problems with it.  kinda wish the tng crew went out on a better note.

10. star trek 5: the final frontier – i said “yikes” before, but man oh man, YIKES.  the only redeeming aspect is the “what does god need with a starship?” line.  and spock’s rocket boots.

11. star trek: the motion picture – i think i’m the only one that truly hates this movie.  it’s just so god-damned boring.  i literally can’t sit through it.  every other movie just decimated it.

if there were ever an appropriate post for the “never getting laid” tag, this is.

live long and prosper, nerds.

-srd

Categories: movies · nerd shit
Tagged: , , ,

star trek is back, assholes.

May 11, 2009 · 2 Comments

star_trek_poster

in my nerd-heart of hearts, it never really left.  but for many, star trek was dead, those memories of a utopian future for mankind dashed on the rocks of an underwhelming prequel series and a lackluster 10th movie.  so thank the great barrier that j.j. abrams was able to breath new life into the ailing franchise.

i will admit that i was skeptical at first (in regard to the title of that post, yes, yes there was).  but sitting in the theater last night with my mom, as the lights dimmed and the first shot of the uss kelvin flashed up on the screen, i just started smiling, and didn’t really stop for the rest of the running time.  i won’t get into a full on review as there’s a million of those out there already.  i frakkin’ loved it and need to see it a bunch more times.  bullet-list of some of my favorite aspects, coming atcha:

  • chris pine’s kirk was definitely kirk without being shatner.
  • bones was dead on bones.  who knew karl urban could act?
  • simon pegg’s scotty was hilarious.
  • i think i caught all of the in-jokes, including scotty’s bit about transporting admiral archer’s beagle into nothingness. (rip, porthos!)
  • the realistic look of engineering.  in fact, all of the interiors of the ships were pretty sweet.
  • phaser fights feeling like actual shootouts.
  • successfully rebooting the series via time travel to skirt the canon issues.

most of all, i like that a whole new audience is being exposed to star trek.  george lucas take note:  this is how you bring back a beloved property without, you know, ruining everyone’s childhoods.  good on ya, jj.  i already can’t wait for the sequel.

-srd

ps- does this mean that years down the road we’ll have a rebooted tng?  that could also be awesome.

Categories: movies · nerd shit
Tagged: ,

“i’ve got faith (boom!) of the heart, i’m going where my heart will take me!”

April 6, 2009 · Leave a Comment

the jury’s still out on enterprise with me.  i’m a few episodes into the third season (i started watching it on and off this summer during the bsg drought and now i’ve come back to it during my mourning period).  it’s definitely star trek, so i like it on that principle.  and i’d say it’s better than voyager, but that’s not saying much.  i think i just miss the highly serialized, political nature of ds9 (and then bsg).  but enterprise tried at least.  and the theme song, which i initially hated, does make me pump my fist and sing along.

plus there’s bakula.

ok, jury’s in.  i like enterprise.  i hear the finale is a supreme dissappointment, but i’m at least looking forward to the upcoming mirror universe episodes.

-srd

ps; “i’ve got strength (bam!) of the soul, no one’s gonna bend or break me!”

Categories: nerd shit · tv
Tagged: , ,

my new apt only requires one piece of wall art…

March 6, 2009 · Leave a Comment

iconic-soldier-photo

Categories: nerd shit · tv
Tagged: ,

dispatches from the swinging bachelor pad

March 2, 2009 · 3 Comments

every good house/apt needs a name.  here are the front-runners for my new apt on grand:

  1. new caprica
  2. echo base
  3. risa
  4. paddy’s pub
  5. the batcave

any others i’ve forgotten?

-srd

Categories: misc · nerd shit
Tagged:

from the aicn battlestar talkback.

February 14, 2009 · Leave a Comment

“Not sure who launched the attack on Cylon Earth. My guess is either the Cylons repeated the mistake of making robotic cylons, or they were sneak attacked by the Kobol Humans. It’s also possible the Earth Cylons had factions like we Earth Humans, and just nuked themseleves. Or Ozymandias did it.”

-srd

Categories: nerd shit · tv
Tagged: , ,

“why don’t you, the master of unlocking, take this lock pick.”

February 5, 2009 · 6 Comments

resident-evil-5-20081113104949784_640w

i was finally able to download the resident evil 5 demo yesterday on my ps3.  and i gotta say, it’s really hard.  it may just be that you’re sorta dropped into the middle of a couple levels without any sort of training or familiarity with the controls, but damn i died a lot.

and the controls.  hmmm.  i’m kinda split on it.  on one hand, they’re the standard resident evil controls.  on the other, they’re the standard resident evil controls.  i feel like with the addition of 28 days later-style track star zombies, the ability to run and shoot should be a no-brainer.  it worked really well in dead space.  still, the wonky controls are part of what makes a resident evil game a resident evil game.  that and endless searching for a rook plug, which you need to get the eagle crest, which opens up a secret elevator to an even more secret lab beneath a mansion on the outskirts of town, which houses mutant sharks.  the lab, not the mansion.

but visually, it certainly looks great.  we’ll see how things pan out with the full release right around the corner.

-srd

Categories: video games
Tagged: , , ,

“your tauntaun will freeze before you reach the first marker.”

December 23, 2008 · 2 Comments

jhbball (joe): what’s princess leia’s last name?
aint the dakota (me): organa.
jhbball: did you know that off the top of your head?
aint the dakota: yes.
jhbball: lol.
jhbbal: k.
jhbbal: gina and i were doing a crossword.
aint the dakota: sounds like the best crossword EVER.

-srd

Categories: friends · misc · movies
Tagged: , ,

“who are the patriots? the la-li-lu-le-lo?!”

May 15, 2008 · Leave a Comment

so i was gonna post about the obama rally yesterday, which was pretty cool and the first time i’d seen a presidential candidate in person since the ill-fated al gore incident of 2000, but i don’t really have much to say about it other than it was kinda cool, i was really far away, and really hungry the whole time.  also, here’s a picture of one of my coworkers in a silly green shirt right behind him:

but what i’m really excited about is metal gear solid: 4, which is about a month away still.  i mean, i have it tattooed on my arm, but i might just have to pick up one of these too:

i figure this way i can be a huge nerd and a bluetooth jackass at the same time.  ladies, one at a time please.

updated: just for the hell of it, a sweet mgs4 trailer:

 

-srd

Categories: politics · technology · video games
Tagged: , , , ,