aggressive.

disclosure: i haven’t seen twilight, mostly b/c it has been so panned by feminists that i decided i won’t support the franchise. maybe i’ll watch a bootlegged copy or something. this is all based on what i’ve heard and read. you can stop reading this comment right now if you wish.

in defense of those who like twilight, i can see the appeal. sounds like a pretty good epic love story — classic romeo and juliet, except instead of class and family feuds, the guy wants to eat the girl. on the surface, it’s a lot like the love story in buffy, which is probably the reason i liked buffy so much.

but then twilight goes off the rails with its obvious stupid opinions on sex, virginity, and sluttiness. and it also seems to condone abusive relationships. in fact, bella is pretty much useless. i don’t expect every female character out there to be gloria steinem in a hoodie, but there are degrees of anti-feminism i can take, and twilight seems to offend so many sensibilities at once, rendering it unwatchable. i’m not that distressed that twilight exists, but i do find it worrisome that so many people (women) don’t seem to care particularly about the abusive undertones. more of an indictment about how society doesn’t seem to take abuse very seriously, but perhaps i’m making generalizations.

ps: i don’t think i’d want my child to be like starbuck. what a mess.

so say we all.

-srd

it’s just poorly made.  the dialogue is unrealistic and terribly delivered, the directing is first-year film school at best, the cinematography is some of the most annoying i’ve ever scene (“hmm, how about we make every shot a push-in for no reason whatsoever?”), and the special effects are of smallville quality, which is to say, “not good.”

so i went on a quest, polling my female friends, some of whom like twilight and some of whom don’t, to see what the hell the big deal is.  here’s a smattering of the responses:

“You’ve clearly never read Tiger Beat or drawn the floorplan of your dream house with Eric Nies. Girls just wanna have fun, Sean.”

“so they aren’t technically good, sometimes a person doesnt want to think so much.some of us with brains enjoy corny once in awhile.”

“for girls, we pick apart the points in the movie that we like, wish our lives were like that, then ignore everything else that doesn’t apply.”

so i guess i have to be a girl to “get” twilight?  i call bullshit.  there’s something else at play here that i can’t quite crack, but i weep for the generations of young boys that have to deal with all the girls that grew up on this tripe and now expect every boyfriend to be edward cullen because their sexually-frustrated mothers were too busy getting caught up in it as well to stop and think that maybe theses things aren’t setting the best examples for their daughters.

me, i hope i have a daughter so i can feed her a healthy stream of ripley, buffy, starbuck, janeway, and other strong female sci-fi characters and keep her away at all costs from “i’m completely helpless and alone without my boyfriend, the abuse prick that only likes me cause i smell really good and i’m a virgin” bella.

-srd

BELLA: It’s tough being the new kid in school! Especially when everyone is so friendly and helpful and interested in me. Why can’t they just leave me alone so I can sit in the corner and cut myself?
CLASSMATE: You’re awesome, Bella!
BELLA: See what I have to put up with? Hey — who are those hot people over there?
CLASSMATE: Those are the Cullens. They avoid direct sunlight, they don’t eat food, they sleep in coffins in a graveyard, and holy water burns them. I think they’re Canadians.
BELLA: They sure are spectacularly gorgeous.
CLASSMATE: Yes, they are.
BELLA: I mean seriously, those people are BEAUTIFUL. Especially the one who keeps looking at me. Man alive, that guy is stunning. I mean, wow. He is hot buttered seduction on a stick. I’m not interested in him sexually, of course, because sex is dirty, but wow — LOOK AT HIM! Yee-ikes! Hubba hubba! If you don’t mind, I’d like to spend the next 75 pages talking exclusively about how attractive he is, and then bring it up again every paragraph or so for the remaining 400 pages.
CLASSMATE: Knock yourself out.

$74 million domestic box office, people.  christ on a cracker.

-srd

-srd